Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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