he puts the penis in happiness.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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