What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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