god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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