The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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