How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Farmville is her only friend.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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