Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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