Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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