Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
