I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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