she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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