shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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