I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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