i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
