I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
