I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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