I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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