i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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