im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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