Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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