I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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