you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
