did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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