I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You pole danced in your parka.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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