remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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