i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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