OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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