Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
