Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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