I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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