I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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