Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize