Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
