Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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