TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
