Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Let's get the cat blown out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
