when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
