I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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