after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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