Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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