While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize