all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
