So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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