i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
