she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
