If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
