sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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