their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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