Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So apparently I’m into choking now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize