i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
