Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think my fart just growled at me.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
