god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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