THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
