Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
