I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
