Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
