ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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