she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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