I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize