he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Damn victory sex feels great
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
