only if we run a train.
done.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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