if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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