Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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