Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We have so much sex to catch up on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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