I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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